Attachment Based Therapy Denver, CO

If you have ever found yourself in a relationship, or potential relationship, that began as a whirlwind romance, where someone seemed incredibly interested in you only to suddenly pull away after a few weeks or months, you may have found yourself wondering, “What happened?” Maybe they stopped responding to texts as quickly, became less affectionate or enthusiastic, or even stopped communicating altogether.

Most of the conversation about emotional unavailability is about other people. How to spot it early, how to avoid dating it, how to leave it. That conversation is useful, but it skips the harder and more useful question: what if some of this is happening on your side of the relationship?

Emotional unavailability is rarely obvious from the inside. That's what makes it worth writing about.

You've seen enough posts on social media to have a good theory about what your attachment style might be. You're anxiously attached. That's why you check your phone eleven times waiting for a reply. That's why you often care more about others than they do about you in relationships. That's why a two-hour silence can rearrange your entire nervous system.

Do you often feel like you’re pouring yourself wholly into a relationship, only to find yourself second-guessing yourself, craving more closeness, and feeling like you're chasing someone who pulls away? Or perhaps you’ve experienced the opposite—longing for space, desiring independence, or feeling suffocated by a partner’s constant need for reassurance and connection. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the complex dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles. These two styles tend to attract each other - creating a relationship that can feel like a constant emotional tug-of-war.

Complex and challenging relationships with parents are one of the many struggles adults today face and seek guidance and healing around in our therapy offices. These struggles are often born from experiences and dynamics of childhood that continue to influence the parent-child relationship in adulthood. Sometimes, these dynamics are very evident, and other times they may be more subtle and hard to correlate with current experience.

Do you feel like nothing you do ever enough to satisfy your partner? You are intentional and put exerted effort into pleasing and making your partner feel loved, only to feel like the goal post keeps moving. You are not alone in feeling this way and it is not an impossible issue to navigate. This is a common dynamic when one person in the relationship has an anxious attachment style. An anxiously attached partner may struggle with feeling secure in the relationship, leading to the internal belief that "I’m not good enough." If you find yourself loving someone with this attachment style, understanding their needs and learning how to navigate their emotional landscape will help both of you feel more connected and secure.

If you are aware of attachment styles you may have noticed the person you are dating has some avoidant attachment tendencies. Don’t worry, many people have avoidant or anxious attachment styles, and they are more likely to be single, so you will often run into them in the dating pool. Navigating the world of romantic relationships can be challenging, especially when dealing with different attachment styles. However, armed with understanding and self-awareness, it's entirely possible to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style. Below you will hear tips from our expert relationship therapists to help you navigate the journey of dating someone with an avoidant attachment style.

An avoidant attachment style is characterized by a person who has a negative view of others and a positive view of themselves. Typically, this style develops when people have had more absent caregivers and have not had their attachment needs to be met. Due to not being able to depend on others to get their needs met, they may have difficulty opening up and trusting others.

Anxious attachment is one of four attachment styles that are thought to develop in our childhood and continued through our adulthood. These are based on patterns of behaviors that people have in relationships with others.

An anxious attachment style is characterized by a person who has a negative view of themselves and a positive view of others. Typically, this style develops when people have had their needs met inconsistently. Due to the inconsistency, they may worry about their needs being met in the future or if they are loveable enough to have these needs met.