Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy has a way of uncovering the parts of us that we may not like very much about ourselves. Maybe it’s the inner critic that feels nonstop, the frustrating self-sabotaging ones that don’t make logical sense, the heightened anxiety, or even the avoidant part that tends to run away. These parts can feel like adversaries, but in the IFS framework, they’re actually looking out for us, trying to protect us in some way.

Here’s the complicated thing: their intentions are good.

Laughter is often seen as a simple reaction to humor, but its impact on the mind goes much deeper. Beyond the initial joy it brings, laughter holds remarkable psychological power that can influence our mental well-being in profound ways.

Being in a long-term relationship with an avoidantly attached partner can feel like standing outside a locked door, waiting for an invitation inside that never quite comes.

People who lean more avoidant aren’t necessarily incapable of love — they often care deeply — but they struggle with emotional closeness, vulnerability, and interdependence. Due to early childhood experiences, they have learned it is safer to only rely on themselves, to downregulate their emotions (often suppressing them), and to self-soothe independently.

Over time, this can leave their partner feeling lonely, confused, and questioning whether staying is sustainable.

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship with an avoidant partner, you’ve likely wrestled with some of the following questions and struggles.

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be difficult for couples to find quality time to spend with each other. Between work commitments, family responsibilities, and personal obligations, it’s easy for time spent together to get pushed aside. But what if I told you that one of the most fun and effective ways to reconnect with your partner could involve something as simple as a video game?

Dating can be an exciting journey filled with new connections, learning experiences, and personal growth. But before you jump into the dating pool, it's essential to take a moment to reflect on whether or not you're truly ready. The idea of "readiness" goes beyond simply feeling lonely or wanting to meet someone new. It involves understanding your emotional health, personal goals, and your ability to engage in a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

Betrayal trauma is an extremely painful emotional experience that occurs when someone we trust greatly, such as a close friend, family member, partner, or even system or institution, violates that trust. This type of trauma resonates deeply and impacts one’s emotional wellbeing, relational foundation, and ability to trust in the relationship moving forward. Therapy can aid the betrayed person in understanding the impact and processing the experience and emotional aftermath.

You’re sitting across from your partner, watching their face tighten as they talk about a stressful day at work. You hate seeing them like this. So, you jump in:

"Why don’t you just talk to your boss about it?"
"You should try waking up earlier—maybe that would help."
"Have you tried meditation? I read it really helps with stress."

You are somewhat surprised when they respond with frustration. Maybe they even snap back with, "I don’t need you to fix it!" And now you feel defensive. 

So, what’s happening here? And why does this dynamic feel so familiar?

Have you ever wondered why your romantic partner manages to “trigger” you more than anyone else in your life?

There’s reason for that — Romantic partners are the closest thing we have to our early providers or caregivers. They occupy a uniquely intimate and vulnerable role in our lives, enabling them to activate deeply rooted emotional patterns and attachment dynamics.

Trauma can linger in our minds and bodies and leave an impact on how we see ourselves and the world around us. It influences our responses, relationships, and even the ways in which we attempt to shield ourselves from further pain. Often, in response to this pain, we exile the parts of ourselves that feel too overwhelming to face, such as our memories or beliefs about ourselves.

As the days stretch longer and the cold grip of winter releases its hold, spring ushers in a time of renewal—not just in nature, but within ourselves. Much like the plants around us, we too experience a cycle of pruning and blooming, both psychologically and physiologically. This seasonal transition offers the perfect opportunity for personal growth, shedding old habits, and blossoming into a refreshed version of ourselves.

The elusive “spark.” That moment when two people’s eyes meet across a crowded room — instant chemistry. Is it love at first sight? Or something else…? As much as I think we would all love to believe that our soulmate is somewhere out there (we just haven’t made eye contact with them yet), the reality is a little less enticing. That sensation of instant chemistry or the “spark” can be misleading and is not the best indicator to use when deciding whether to continue seeing someone. This idea of an instant, electrifying connection has seeped into our collective understanding of what love should feel like. But is the “spark” really the best indicator of a potential lifelong partner? Or is it just a romanticized myth that can lead us astray?

Communication is Key: Navigating Change Together

• Why it matters: Transitioning into marriage often involves learning how to communicate more openly and effectively. It’s about being vulnerable, expressing needs, and listening actively.

• Tips:

  • Create a habit of checking in with each other regularly about your relationship.

  • Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements to express feelings without sounding accusatory.

  • Learn how to argue constructively—disagreeing is normal, but how you handle it can strengthen the relationship.