I find it genuinely insulting how much sleep humans need. The wellness checklist always starts off reasonable: eat healthy, drink water, exercise, nurture your relationships… but the moment some professional casually tacks on, “Oh, and get an amazing, uninterrupted, eight hours of sleep per night,” I feel my body tense, a reaction I get when I feel the need to defend myself. Did an alien who has never struggled to fall asleep write this list? Can we get some empathy on this one, please? We have endless data and articles reminding us about how important sleep is, but when it comes to realistic ways to actually fall asleep… crickets. Which is ironic, because that sound would probably knock half of us out cold.