What is betrayal trauma?

Betrayal trauma is an extremely painful emotional experience that occurs when someone we trust greatly, such as a close friend, family member, partner, or even system or institution, violates that trust. This type of trauma resonates deeply and impacts one’s emotional wellbeing, relational foundation, and ability to trust in the relationship moving forward. Therapy can aid the betrayed person in understanding the impact and processing the experience and emotional aftermath.

Trauma can linger in our minds and bodies and leave an impact on how we see ourselves and the world around us. It influences our responses, relationships, and even the ways in which we attempt to shield ourselves from further pain. Often, in response to this pain, we exile the parts of ourselves that feel too overwhelming to face, such as our memories or beliefs about ourselves.

Breakups don’t just hurt—they can feel impossible to move on from. If you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of waves of pain, replaying memories, or feeling like you just can’t let go of an ex, you’re not alone.

Research shows that the brain processes heartbreak just like physical pain, which explains why heartbreak can feel emotionally, mentally and physically painful. But what if there was a way to rewire your brain to heal and move past this pain?

That is one of the things EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy can do. EMDR was originally developed for trauma but is now being used to help people process breakups, let go of emotional pain, and move forward.