Unfortunately, dating can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and hopeless at times. People can be misleading in their dating profiles. Ghosting is rampant. And flakiness is so bad that often people are unsure if a date will follow through and happen until they’re sitting at the restaurant in front of their date. What keeps us trudging through this difficult activity? The possibility and promise of finding love.

If you ask any couples therapist, we’ll tell you to get yourselves to couples therapy when things are going well, rather than when they’re at their breaking point. Any time is a good time for therapy! But you and I both know that hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s hard to find ways to build the relationship when things seem perfect. If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re considering couples counseling for you and your partner, and to that I say, great job! Exploring your options is an awesome first step. But if you need a little extra push, here are 5 signs it’s definitely time to see a therapist.

Depending on your relationship status, Valentine’s Day can be exciting, stressful, lonely, or a last ditch effort to re-energize your relationship. Valentine’s Day can be a great way for couples to be intentional about their relationship and deepening their connection, but it’s no secret that many of us have frequently struggled with how commercialized the holiday has become and the unrealistic expectations that movies and the media have given us. Furthermore, why should we celebrate our love just one day a year?

So, you’ve done that hard part. You found an appropriate time, you spoke in “I statements,” you talked about your emotional experience, you didn’t use shaming or blaming statements, and were vulnerable and asked your romantic partner for your needs to be met. Now what?

If you ask any couple’s therapist what the biggest factor is predicting success in couple’s therapy, they would tell you that attending couple’s therapy when problems first arise and not years later will lead to success. Couples often attend therapy as a last-ditch effort to address difficulties that started to arise in their relationship years prior. Once these difficulties have taken root, they can spread to every aspect of the relationship and lead to a decrease in intimacy and an increase negative feelings and resentment. Once a relationship has more negatives than positives it is a long uphill road to a healthy relationship. However, if partners still have deep love and care for one another and enter couple’s therapy with an open mind and curiosity, progress will quickly be made!

Online dating can be a great option for finding a romantic partner. It gives you access to a large pool of singles in your area that are also looking for love! However, with all of its benefits it can feel overwhelming, discouraging, and frustrating at times. With a culture of ghosting, bread crumbing, and flakiness the thought of logging into your dating account can make you roll your eyes. If you feel like online dating feels like a job, you feel agitated even looking at the app on your phone, or if you are having trouble remember who is who, it may be time to re-energize your online dating.