Most of us were not taught how to talk about sex, let alone how to have pleasurable sex. We’re often taught to keep our desires, preferences, and struggles private. Even in long-term relationships, it can feel vulnerable to say, “I want something different,” or “Something isn’t working for me.” However, when we avoid talking about sex, this can sometimes lead to resentment or disconnection from ourselves and our partners. Maybe you’ve wondered why you can love your partner deeply and still struggle with desire, or why arousal feels easy sometimes and impossible at others. If you want things to shift, it can be helpful to understand your accelerators and brakes.

Sex and intimacy are some of the most tender ways we connect with others—and, in many ways, they’re mirrors. They reflect how we give and receive love, how safe we feel being seen, and what we learned early on about closeness, trust, and vulnerability.

Sexual health is a fundamental aspect of overall well-being, yet many individuals struggle with sexual dysfunction, often linked to past trauma. Understanding the relationship between trauma and sexual dysfunction can empower those affected and pave the way for healing, connection, and pleasure. No experience of traumatic events is undeserving of care and attention, especially when it has impacts on different areas of functioning.