Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: Balancing Career and Parenthood with Grace
As I return from maternity leave, I want to explore thoughts about returning to work after having a baby. Whether you're returning to work after 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year, leaving your baby for work can feel heartbreaking. So much development happens in the first 3 years of a child's life, and being away from them may inevitably lead to missing some parts of that, which is a challenging truth to swallow.
Returning to work after maternity leave is one of the most emotionally complex transitions a parent can face. Getting back into the rhythm of a job, while also navigating the powerful pull between career ambitions and the love for a new baby can feel impossible. It is possible to deeply love your job and feel fulfilled by your professional role, and yet still experience the heart-wrenching separation anxiety of leaving your baby each day. If you find yourself caught between these two worlds, you're not alone.
Here are some thoughts and tips on how to balance the joy of returning to work with the yearning for time with your little one.
The Joy of Reconnecting with Your Passion
After months of maternity leave, many parents feel a sense of relief when they step back into the workplace. The routines, the colleagues, the challenges—all of the things that once fueled your professional growth and made you feel connected to something bigger than your role as a parent.
If you’re anything like me, the workplace offers an intellectual stimulation and sense of achievement that might have been missing during the newborn phase. You might find yourself thriving as you step back into a familiar environment where you are recognized for your skills and contributions. The joy of reconnecting with your career can be revitalizing. Whether it's diving into projects, solving problems, or simply enjoying adult conversations, being back at work can remind you of who you are beyond your identity as a mother.
The Heartache of Separation
On the flipside, the longing to be with your baby may feel unbearable. The empty space where their laughter or cries used to be, the constant thoughts about how your little one is doing without you- Are they eating enough? Are they being soothed the way you would soothe them? Are they missing you the way you miss them?
It's completely normal to miss your baby, especially in those first few weeks or months back at work. As much as you love your job, that tug on your heart when you drop them off at daycare, hand them over to a caregiver, or even leave them with their other parent can feel overwhelming. This emotional adjustment can bring feelings of guilt, even if you’re certain that returning to work is the right choice for your family and personal growth.
The Dance Between Guilt and Fulfillment
One of the hardest emotions to wrestle with is guilt. Society often paints the picture that being a good mother means being physically present at all times. But the truth is, parenting looks different for everyone. For some, a fulfilling career can contribute to a healthier mental state, making them better parents. If your job gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose, it’s not something to feel guilty about. Your child will grow up witnessing the power of hard work, ambition, and balance, and these lessons are valuable.
However, balancing the dual role of being a working mother can create moments of self-doubt. The key is understanding that loving your job and loving your child are not mutually exclusive. You can be both a dedicated employee and a loving parent. Finding peace with this duality is essential for long-term emotional health.
Managing the Transition: Practical Tips
Set Boundaries: It’s easy to let work consume you, but setting clear boundaries between work and home life can help you feel more present at both. When at work, try to trust that your baby is taken care of and focus on your tasks. When you get home, prioritize quality time with your baby and leave work at work.
Stay Organized: Managing a career and motherhood requires planning. Using calendars or apps to track work deadlines and baby-related schedules (e.g., doctor’s appointments, feeding times, etc.) can be extremely helpful. Planning ahead can alleviate stress and allow you to focus on what matters in the moment.
Seek Support: Whether it’s leaning on a partner, family, friends, or your workplace’s support systems, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Talking to other working parents can also provide insight and emotional relief and be a great source of comfort.
Create a Flexible Routine: Depending on your work environment, try to negotiate flexible hours or work from home options, especially during the initial transition. A hybrid model, where you spend a few days working from home, can help ease the strain of being away from your baby. Receiving support from your workplace as you make this challenging transition can make a world of difference!
Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t expect perfection. There will be days when you feel like you’re juggling too much, and others when everything seems to be running smoothly. Remember that both your job and your child deserve your attention, but you also need to care for yourself in order to be the best version of both.
Finding Balance and Embracing the New Normal
It’s easy to think that balance means doing everything well all the time, but balance is often more about acceptance and adaptation. In the early days back at work, you might feel like you’re either at work wishing you were with your baby or at home wishing you were at work. Eventually, this pull will soften as you settle into a routine, learning how to give yourself grace in each moment.
The key is remembering that there isn’t a "one size fits all" solution to being a working parent. Your journey will look different from others, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this new phase of life.
Ultimately, returning to work after maternity leave is a test of both emotional resilience and practicality. While it’s completely normal to feel a mix of joy, sadness, and guilt, it's important to remember that there’s no perfect balance. It’s about finding what works for you, your baby, and your career. It’s okay to love both your job and your baby—it’s part of what makes you the amazing, multifaceted person you are.
As you step back into your work life, don’t forget to both honor the small moments with your child, and cherish the moments at work when you feel like yourself again. In the end, you are teaching your child valuable lessons about resilience, passion, and the beauty of chasing both dreams and parenthood.
Individual Relationship Therapy Denver, Colorado
Returning to work after maternity leave is one of the most emotionally complex transitions a parent can face, our skilled therapists at Authentic Connections Therapy and Wellness can help you balance the joy of returning to work with the yearning for time with your little one. Follow the steps below to get started.
1. We encourage you to get to know a little bit about our therapists, their specializations, and their credentials. Get to know our therapists here.
2. If you think Individual relationship therapy is for you, reach out to us! You can use our convenient online consultation scheduling here.
3. Begin the exciting journey of resilience, passion, and the beauty of chasing both dreams and parenthood.
We hope to hear from you soon!
