Healing Trauma with Internal Family Systems (IFS): A Compassionate Guide to Parts Work
In recent years, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model (often called “parts work”) has gained widespread recognition as an effective and non-judgmental approach to healing complex trauma. IFS offers a respectful and intuitive framework for understanding the human psyche — one that helps people access deep, embodied healing.
What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
IFS is a therapeutic model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It is an evidence-based psychotherapy model that views the mind as being made up of different parts — like an internal family. By developing compassionate relationships with and between these parts, individuals can access a sense of balance and peace.
Core Assumptions of IFS:
The IFS model is built on several core assumptions:
1. The Mind Is Naturally Multiple
According to IFS theory, the human mind is made up of multiple parts — internal subpersonalities that each have their own feelings, thoughts, and roles. This multiplicity is not a sign of disorder or dysfunction; it’s a natural and universal feature of being human. Everyone has these parts, and they work together like a family inside us.
2. Every Part Has a Positive Intention
Even when our parts behave in extreme or harmful ways, IFS assumes that these parts are always trying to help or protect us in some way. A part that criticizes may be trying to keep us from being hurt. A part that uses substances may be trying to numb emotional pain. IFS does not pathologize these parts; instead, it approaches them with compassion and curiosity to understand the protective role they are trying to fulfill.
3. Parts Can Become Burdened
Throughout life, especially in response to trauma, parts can take on extreme emotions, beliefs, or roles. These burdens weigh them down and cause them to act in ways that are out of alignment with their original purpose. For example, a part might carry shame from childhood or the belief that it must always be perfect to be loved. In IFS, healing occurs not by silencing or eliminating parts, but by helping them release these burdens so they can return to their natural, balanced roles.
4. Everyone Has a Self
IFS theory assumes that at the core of every person is the true Self — a centered, wise, and compassionate inner presence that is untouched by trauma or life circumstances. The Self embodies qualities such as calmness, curiosity, confidence, and care. No matter how overwhelmed one may feel, the Self is always present and can be accessed. It is the natural leader of the internal system. Different cultures and psychological orientations have different names for the Self, including the Atman, Tao, Holy Spirit, True Self, Core Self, or Wise Mind.
5. The Self Can Heal the System
When the Self is accessed and leads the healing process, parts begin to relax and trust. The Self has the capacity to build genuine, compassionate relationships with parts, helping them to feel safe, seen, and understood. In this relationship, parts can open up, share their stories, and let go of the burdens they’ve been carrying. Healing emerges from within, not from advice, analysis, or force.
6. Parts Have Valuable Roles
Every part was created for a reason and has a valuable role to play in the system. Even parts that take on extreme roles due to pain or trauma can be unburdened to reveal underlying strengths such as intuition, playfulness, creativity, or assertiveness. IFS focuses on reintegration: helping parts return to their original, healthy roles within the system.
7. The System Is Self-Healing and Self-Organizing
IFS assumes that, with the Self in the lead, the internal system naturally moves toward harmony, balance, and healing. The goal is not to force change, but to foster internal safety and trust so the system can reorganize itself. Healing is an organic process, guided by the inherent wisdom of the Self and the willingness of parts to participate
IFS and Complex Trauma: A Somatic, Embodied Approach
Complex trauma is not just stored in the mind — it lives in the body. Survivors may experience chronic anxiety, numbness, hypervigilance, physical pain or tension, and disconnection from their emotions or sensations.
IFS invites us to slow down and turn inward — not to fix ourselves, but to relate to ourselves with compassion. Healing in IFS doesn't come from analyzing the past, but from creating internal relationships rooted in curiosity and trust.
IFS promotes deep, somatic healing in the following ways:
1. Cultivating Self-Energy
The process begins by helping people access their core Self — that calm, open, and grounded presence. Through gentle curiosity and mindfulness, the Self begins to emerge naturally.
This Self isn’t just a concept — it’s a felt sense. Clients describe it as a spaciousness in the chest, warmth in the heart, or clarity in the mind. It’s this embodied awareness that becomes the healing agent.
2. Befriending Protectors with Compassion
Rather than battling anxiety or suppressing unwanted behaviors, IFS teaches us to listen to the parts behind them. Why is this protector working so hard? What is it afraid would happen if it stopped?
This non-pathologizing approach softens inner resistance. Even behaviors like self-harm or addiction can be met with understanding — not condoning, but compassionately exploring their protective purpose.
3. Witnessing and Unburdening Exiles
When protectors trust the Self enough, they may allow access to deeply buried exiled parts. These vulnerable parts are often burdened with overwhelming memories, loneliness, or shame.
In a safe and embodied state, the Self can witness these exiles and sit with them with compassion, without judgment, and without abandonment. Through this process, one can release their painful burdens.
This unburdening is often deeply somatic: tears flow, breath deepens, and a sense of spaciousness or relief arises in the body.
And this process is not linear. It is a tender, meandering, and deeply human process. But with patience, presence, and inner compassion, true transformation is possible — not only in the mind, but also in the heart and body.
Case Example: Sarah – Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect
This is a fictional case example that illustrates how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be used to help someone heal from complex trauma. While the details of this case are fabricated, they are based on real-world clinical patterns.
Sarah, a 34-year-old woman, comes to therapy feeling chronically anxious, disconnected from her body, and plagued by self-doubt. She reports difficulties in relationships — either becoming overly accommodating or emotionally withdrawing. Although she doesn’t recall overt trauma, she describes her childhood as being “emotionally cold” with an emotionally unavailable mother and a father who was often critical or absent.
Initial IFS Work: Discovering the Parts
In early sessions, the therapist introduces Sarah to the idea that these patterns may be coming from different parts of her system — each trying to help her survive, even if in painful ways.
As Sarah tunes inward, she begins to notice:
A manager part that constantly scans for other people’s emotions and adjusts her behavior to avoid conflict. It says things like, “If I keep everyone happy, I’ll be safe.”
A harsh inner critic that says, “You’re not enough. Stop being so needy.”
A firefighter part that binge-watches TV or scrolls social media for hours when she feels emotionally overwhelmed.
Sarah also senses a deeply hidden part — a young, sad exile — who carries feelings of loneliness and worthlessness. This part believes it’s her fault that her parents weren’t more loving
Building Self-Leadership
As therapy progresses, Sarah learns how to recognize when she is "blended" with a part — when a part is speaking through her — and how to separate enough to access her Self: the calm, compassionate, curious presence within her.
In one session, she meets her critical part with Self-energy for the first time. Instead of arguing with it, she says gently, “I see you’re trying to protect me. You believe if I’m perfect, I won’t be rejected.” The part begins to soften. It admits it’s been trying to keep her from feeling the deep shame held by the exile.
Healing the Exile
With time and care, her protective parts allow her to approach the younger exiled part. In a powerful session, she visualizes a five-year-old version of herself, sitting alone in her room, trying to be invisible. Her Self witnesses the pain this part has carried for so long — the longing for comfort, the belief that she was unlovable.
With her Self fully present, she reassures this young part: “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve to be ignored.” The exile feels seen and accepted, maybe for the first time. In the following sessions, Sarah helps the exile unburden the belief that she is defective and the pain of never being held. In its place, the part takes in a new truth: “You are lovable, just as you are.”
Transformation of the System
As Sarah continues IFS work:
Her manager becomes less controlling, allowing her to show up more authentically in relationships.
The firefighter part doesn’t need to numb her as often, because there’s less emotional pain flooding her system.
Her inner critic quiets down, becoming more like a discerning inner voice than a bully.
Most importantly, she feels more connected to her Self — grounded, compassionate, and confident.
Long-Term Outcome
Sarah’s external life begins to change, too. She sets healthier boundaries, trusts her feelings, and starts building emotionally reciprocal relationships. When old triggers arise, she knows how to check in with her parts and respond with compassion rather than fear or shame.
Individual Relationship Therapy Denver, Colorado
The IFS model often called “parts work” has gained widespread recognition as an effective and non-judgmental approach to healing complex trauma, our skilled therapists at Authentic Connections Therapy and Wellness can help you develop compassionate relationships with and between these parts. Follow the steps below to get started.
1. We encourage you to get to know a little bit about our therapists, their specializations, and their credentials. Get to know our therapists here.
2. If you think Individual relationship therapy is for you, reach out to us! You can use our convenient online consultation scheduling here.
3. Begin the exciting journey of developing understanding of the human psyche, and access deep, embodied healing.
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