If you ask any couples therapist, we’ll tell you to get yourselves to couples therapy when things are going well, rather than when they’re at their breaking point. Any time is a good time for therapy! But you and I both know that hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s hard to find ways to build the relationship when things seem perfect. If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re considering couples counseling for you and your partner, and to that I say, great job! Exploring your options is an awesome first step. But if you need a little extra push, here are 5 signs it’s definitely time to see a therapist.

Depending on your relationship status, Valentine’s Day can be exciting, stressful, lonely, or a last ditch effort to re-energize your relationship. Valentine’s Day can be a great way for couples to be intentional about their relationship and deepening their connection, but it’s no secret that many of us have frequently struggled with how commercialized the holiday has become and the unrealistic expectations that movies and the media have given us. Furthermore, why should we celebrate our love just one day a year?

So, you’ve done that hard part. You found an appropriate time, you spoke in “I statements,” you talked about your emotional experience, you didn’t use shaming or blaming statements, and were vulnerable and asked your romantic partner for your needs to be met. Now what?

If you ask any couple’s therapist what the biggest factor is predicting success in couple’s therapy, they would tell you that attending couple’s therapy when problems first arise and not years later will lead to success. Couples often attend therapy as a last-ditch effort to address difficulties that started to arise in their relationship years prior. Once these difficulties have taken root, they can spread to every aspect of the relationship and lead to a decrease in intimacy and an increase negative feelings and resentment. Once a relationship has more negatives than positives it is a long uphill road to a healthy relationship. However, if partners still have deep love and care for one another and enter couple’s therapy with an open mind and curiosity, progress will quickly be made!